The Marek Times

I’m FINALLY feeling better.  I’m done the antibiotics today and am actually back to normal now.  Thank goodness!

Ben and I made pumpkin muffins today.  I’m trying to find a recipe that will simulate the pumpkin loaves from Starbucks.  So far, this is the closest I’ve come.  These one are definitely pretty good.  I had to add more spices, but I’m pretty happy with the outcome.  Here’s Ben helping me out:

Marek’s birthday is this Friday.  We all seem pretty bummed, but we’re doing the best we can.  Ben misses his brother terribly and so do we.  I should be planning a party for next weekend.  It hurts that I’m not.   I wish things were different.  Instead, Merv and I are going to visit the folks at the Children’s Heart Society tomorrow.  Some very generous family members (thank you!) have put together some cash, which we’re adding to, and we’re going to go make the donation tomorrow in Marek’s memory.   The Children’s Heart Society do great things for the heart kids around here and we’re grateful for all the support they provide, even when it’s sort of done indirectly sometimes.  Among other things, they provided holiday treat bags and toys for Marek when he had to spend holidays in the hospital.  I’m happy we can give back a little bit.

For Marek’s actual birthday, Merv, Ben and I are getting out of town.  I don’t think I’d be an effective employee at work, and Ben has the day off anyway.  We’re off to Calgary for some rest and relaxation (ok – shopping).  I’m looking forward to that.  It’ll be nice to get away.

I finally went in to see the doctor yesterday. This stupid cough just won’t go away. Turns out I have bronchitis and some sort of issue with my trachea. So now I’m on antibiotics. I really hope I get better soon.  Oh well, today is Friday and it’s a long weekend this weekend.  Yay!

Will this cold ever go away? I’m back at work now, at least physically, but I still feel crappy. I’m hot, I’m cold, I’m coughing, I’m sneezing and I’m doing a great Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer impression. I wish I could stay in bed. At least Benny’s feeling better. And work is busy enough that I don’t have time to think about how awful I feel.  It’s funny though – people are avoiding me at work.  I must look contagious.  You’d think I had leprosy.  That’s ok with me though.  I just wish they’d stop telling me how awful I look.  Do you know how hard it is to get a compliment when your nose glows?

All over the news right now is that lady in the States that had octuplets.  I hate hearing news like that.  I think the woman is crazy, and she will definitely have a rough go of it, but it still bugs me.  It’s so unfair.  How come the crazy lady gets to have 14 kids?  Or how about those people on TLC with 18 and counting?  They seem kind of dumb to me, and they get to have a litter.  Maybe that’s why, I don’t know.  We’re  smart people, we have good jobs and we have a stable home.  I don’t get it.  I know life’s not fair, but I’m still bitter.  Especially when I’m sick and grouchy to start with.  Ok, enough of that rant.  Thanks for listening…

I didn’t win.  The virus totally got me.  I didn’t make it in to work on Thursday or Friday this week.  And now it’s Sunday and I’m still feeling yucky.  Stupid cold.  Ben still has a runny nose, but it doesn’t seem to be affecting his energy levels.  My cold is all in my chest – I’m surprised I haven’t cracked a rib with all the coughing I’m doing.  But I think I’m slowly getting better now.  I’m actually getting out of bed now and apparently I have colour again – I was supposedly grey on Friday.  I hate being sick!  Up until the virus knocked me out, I was doing great, lots of energy, blood pressure was coming down and I was happily working out every night on the new eliptical.  I actually miss working out.  I really hope this cold doesn’t last long…  send me healthy vibes!

Merv just ran into Dr. R (Marek’s cardiologist) at the Save-On this morning.  Turns out she lives just a couple of minutes away from us.  Small world!  I wish I had been there, I would love to see her again.  She mentioned something to Merv about meeting for coffee one of these days.  That would be awesome.  She’s a very busy lady though, so I’m not sure when that’ll be.  It’s nice to know she remembers us though.

I feel yucky. I’m fighting a cold with all my might, but I think the cold might be winning. Ben has the same thing I think. Our only hope is that Merv doesn’t get it too. I don’t want to be sick! I wonder if I can will the cold gone. I’m not sick… I’m not sick… I’m not sick…

It’s been a whole year since I was first admitted (or incarcerated) to the Women’s hospital because I had high blood pressure and Marek wasn’t growing.  That was truly a crappy experience.  And now it seems so long ago.  Inner-city hospitals are definitely not the sort of place you want to hang out.  But, mostly I remember being insanely worried about Marek, but enjoying every kick and punch he delivered.  Even then, he was a tough little dude.

So much has happened since then.  It was a lifetime ago.  Ben isn’t quite the same little guy he was then.  He’s older and wiser now, mostly in a good way, but he’s old for his age and has seen too much – things 4-year-olds shouldn’t see.  Merv and I are wiser too, blessed to have known Marek, but there’s a sadness that hangs in our family.  But we’re hopeful, too.  Hopeful for the future. 

Last week, Marek’s home care nurse and respiratory therapist came to visit me.  It was so nice to see them.  I guess I still miss all the people who took care of us and rode the rollercoaster ride with us.  I hope they are all well and know what a difference they make.